Insanity Prompted

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Here is another creative writing prompt from Writer’s Digest.  I whittled it down to exactly 500 words. I hope you enjoy it.

One morning you awake to find yourself in a straight jacket, being taken off to an asylum. How do you prove your sanity? What do the guards and psychiatrists say you did?

Post your response 500 words or fewer.

 

“Is this the guy, Boss?”

(Holding up a picture…) “Yeah that’s him.  Let’s go.”

Wait, this is getting stressful.  I should go ahead and wake up, just like all those other times I’ve had crazy dreams.  Wait.  What the hell?  I’m already awake?! Why can’t I move my arms!!??

“What is going on?  Where are you taking me?”  I have got to break loose!….. Well that’s not happening with Hanz and Franz on either side of me.  Maybe if I push and pull, on three:  one, two, three, “Ggggrrrrrrr, rrrroooaarrrrrr, you sons of bitches!!!! Let me go!! RRROOOOOOOOAAAARRRR!!!”

“Doc, we got a fighter and a growler!”

“Put him down.”

Head woozy.  Ha, I knew I was dreaming. I’m in bed. But wait, why can’t I move my arms.  I AM in a straight jacket!! What the…

“Who are you? Where am I?”

“Vee ver very vorried about yooouu Meestir Sadovski. Vee have not seem anyone eat zat many boofaloo vings in za history of eeeating.”

“So you thought it was a good idea to  drug me, and drag me to wherever the hell we are?! You sick bastard!! What kind of doctor are you!!”

“Oh no, sir, I am not a doctor. Zee Ground Round haz been very worried about you for some time now. Zey called me to get you to say certain sings. It is actually really zimple. You say zese sings, you go home.”

“Anything! What could they possibly want from me?!”

“Excessive levels of boofaloo ving sauce in your system over time kan leeed to insaanitee, and I’m afraid you, are nearing zee human limit.”

Head spinning. Intestines spinning. How many did I have last night? Damn, I wish I didn’t get that last plate of 25. What could this guy possibly want?

“Ok, what are you getting at?”

“It’s quite seemple, actually. You vow to eat no more boofaloo vings, you leave.”

“Nnnoooooo!!! Never, you will never… What kind of sick…..”

“Meester Sadovski…. Sink of your family. Your wife and keeds. Zey do not vant to veezeet zer fazhar in an insteetution simply because you are stubborn and love boofaloo vings. Maybe zis is something you don’t understand: zee Ground Round knows many powerful people, and can keep you here as long as zey see fit. You cannot keep consuming zeese vings at zis rate.  Zee Ground Round cannot be held liable if some-sing vould heppen to you.”

“So let me get this straight: I renounce wings, I go home?”

“Yes, sir.”

This is ridiculous. No German guy posing as a doctor can tell me what to eat, and besides, there is no way something that delicious has such a terrible side affect. I’m sure I would have heard about that before. Wait, am I really debating whether to stay in an institution because i love wings? What’s wrong with me? How could I even hesitate? He did say I was near insanity levels. Is it true? No way, but wait, I couldn’t possibly ……

 

Thanks again for reading!!!!

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