After a little hiatus, I am back with a post!! I figured during a major move, with a baby set to arrive in a couple of days, and a kid recovering from a tonsillectomy, something had to give, and the self-imposed deadlines I have here for weekly posts can probably be a little flexible right about now.
This is a compilation of different ideas I have been trying to work into their own posts, but no matter how hard I think on them, I can never seem to get more than a paragraph, but I still think they are ideas worth sharing. I hope they give you something to think about during your day.
1) If I were the owner of a terrible baseball team (Astros, Twins, the Indians from “Major League”), I would shorten the fence in my ballpark. Is there I reason why this hasn’t happened yet? I did some research and there are minimum requirements for right, center, and left field fences, but a couple of the newer stadiums don’t exactly adhere to them, and the teams have suffered no consequences. Why not make center field 375′ right field 300′ and left field 325′? If you have no chance of making the playoffs any time soon, doing this would get people talking about your team, would make every home game exciting, and would give Craig Counsel a chance at breaking the all-time home run mark. I would invest heavily in groundball pitchers (Derek Lowe, Dan Quizinberry, r.i.p.) to try to limit the damage opposing teams present. The goal would be to have every game potentially end with a score of 15-12, with the hope that my team would be on the lucky end more offer than not. Everyone reading this would watch / follow whatever team did this.
2) There has got to be a way to invent a small hydro-power turbine thingy that can attach to the pipes in houses and harness the energy created by flushing toilets and shower drains. I’m sure as the technology evolves, and components become smaller and more efficient, this can be explored. There has to be accommodations made to avoid major clog-age, but with all this water running all over the place everywhere, every day, we could take advantage of this for a greener tomorrow.
3) I have a conspiracy theory that the makers of shower liners are in the pocket of the big soap companies. This may be a little dated due to innovation in shower design, but the classic liner we all know and love has the soap dish positioned DIRECTLY in the way of the water coming down from the shower head. The water barrages the bar of soap while it’s not being used, shortening its life dramatically. To make things worse, there is nowhere for the water to go after the shower, so the bar of soap sits and stews in a pool of its own demise. Ask yourself, “Who benefits from soap being washed away quicker than it should?” The realization that got me thinking of this is the fact that that dish could be moved over 10-12 inches to the left, and could be reached by someone sitting in the tub. There is no need to put the soap dish right there, it doesn’t make sense. Why would they do that? Payouts by big soap? I don’t know, just asking a question.
4) What are the Patriots going to do with Aaron Hernandez’s number? It will certainly be made into a big deal by the media the next time someone wears it, no matter how many years from now it happens. They can’t officially retire it. Maybe they could have a funeral for it, where, instead of the usual hoisting the number triumphantly to the rafters as John Cougar Mellencamp sings about how small the players home town is, they could have some Gregorian chants, and one Ukrainian Orthodox priest fill Gillette Stadium with incense (anyone who has been to an Eastern Orthodox funeral knows that this is possible). All former Pats players who wore #81 could be on the field next to The Undertaker from WWF as they throw dirt on it, or burn it or something. Or maybe a banner with #81 could start to get hoisted to the rafters and the Patriot reenactors could sit there and blast the banner with musket balls until there is nothing left of the number… I guess that would be a little ironic, shooting up a representation of Aaron Hernandez.
Like the title says, these are half-baked ideas, I’m just getting the ball rolling, spit-balling, whatever. Leave a comment if you want to add something, disprove something, or support something.
Thanks for reading. Rock on everyone!!